I deleted my Facebook. Here's why:

Well, I suppose the correct term is deactivated, but more on that in a minute. Below are my reasons for quitting FB for good:

1. The Changing Face of Social Media:

In a generation that has grown up with computers and the Internet, it is hard sometimes to be separated from it. It's more than just a habit, it's an object that simply exists, so ingrained in our lives that it refuses to go away or be ignored. Because the online landscape changes so fast, my experience probably differs from someone a few years older or younger than me. I remember the days of MySpace in high school, the teen angst live journal accounts, the flash sites before YouTube existed. The era when word of mouth would introduce you to new media and still came from people's actual mouthes. My MySpace page was branded to fit how I wanted people to perceive me, with basic html, my favorite songs, detailed answers to mundane questions. It was the dawn of the like. What do you like? As a teenager, that is what defines you. And like most other teenagers at the time, I wanted to let everyone know who I was. Revenue was generated by the usual ad space on the page. The exciting new Facebook only being granted to you upon receiving a college email address. This was my generations experience.

10 years later and it is the age of Facebook. The site has now become the behemoth in the room with 1.19 BILLION users. If there are 7 billion people in the world, where probably 20% of those under 13 and 1.5 billion in China (the land of no Facebook), it's likely that everyone you know has one. They are now at the point where Mark Zuckerberg's pet project (Internet.org) is to bring more more people online. Think about that. They are so huge that they need to bring the Internet to rural Indian and African to expand their user base.

The way Facebook has operated has changed dramatically over the last 8 years after they opened their user base to the public. The site changed bit by bit, small enough to almost be invisible now. Can you even remember the days of no news feed? What Facebook feeds up to you now is literally what they want you to see. Or at least what the new algorithm has determined you want to see, based on what you have liked and clicked on. But that's not that sinister, you say...but I would beg to differ. There is at least some measure of questionable ethics in limiting what you see at all, especially when the control is with one entity with only profits in mind and that control is not transparent to the customer. Unlike the social media sites of the past, Facebook figured out how to make their business more solvent, hence the staying power that they have had this far. Ever wonder what Facebook is selling to make its net worth $200 billion dollars? They are selling YOU.

Oregon alone has over 80 data centers holding your data from sites the Google, Amazon, and Facebook. These data centers save your clicks, your likes, your photos, your experience, FOR THEIR OWN PROFITS AND GAIN. Gone are the days of filling in your favorite bands to express yourself to your peers in an open online community. Even if I deactivate my account, Facebook has already catalogued and stored the information I have freely given this far. You can thank capitalism for what the Internet has now become.

How sick is it that when I went to delete my Facebook the screen that came up said "Here are your friends that are going to miss you!" It might have worked, as opposed to being both infuriating and hilariously funny, if any of those people were my actual "friends" at all. Which bring me to my next point:

2. The difference between Social Media and social interaction:

so·cial me·di·a
noun
websites and applications that enable users to create and share content or to participate in social networking.

Let's go deeper...

so·cial net·work·ing
noun
the use of dedicated websites and applications to interact with other users, or to find people with similar interests to oneself.

Wow, that actually sounds close to why I signed up for this site in the first place.

Facebook may serve a social media function, but I would argue that this is not their primary mission despite what they claim:

"Facebook's Mission Statement: Founded in 2004, Facebook's mission is to give people the power to share and make the world more open and connected. People use Facebook to stay connected with friends and family, to discover what's going on in the world, and to share and express what matters to them."

Hmm, that's interesting, I wonder how they could make money off of simply connecting people. Oh that's right, they can't.

Although social media is the great buzzword, consciousness, and overall dominatrix of our day, I would argue that it does not replace true social interaction. We, in fact, are part problem, because we have accepted that it does. How often do I talk with my friends outside of Facebook? Maybe once every two weeks to a month…

When I realized that the only people I talk to on the phone were my husband, mother, and mother-in-law, it made me sad. No personal emails, texts, calls. All that has been replaced by Facebook, which in itself is there to make money off of you, despite what they say. 99% of my social interaction has been replaced by a site that is capitalizing on my interests and activities. Wow.

But my being on Facebook enables and gives permission to those that are important in my life to be lazy. Why talk to me when you can simply read my latest update? That starts this horrible cycle of unsatisfying gratification. Yelling into the void for a like or comment. Or commenting on someone's post to show you are paying attention. The competition for "Best Human" or "Number 1 Friend". Which is the reason for this:

3. Anxiety & Addiction:

At what point do you realize that you are addicted to something? When you refresh your newsfeed every hour? Or at what point does that addiction become true? When it adversely effects your life?

These are hard questions, but when I asked myself them, and the answers where all yes, I felt like I needed to do something. Not as a cry for attention or help, but to improve my own mental state.

Since giving birth to A, I've struggled with anxiety and depression. And in the last few weeks I've realized that Facebook (partly because it's such a big thing in my life/everyone's life) is a huge trigger for me. The compulsion to check updates borders on obsessive behavior, stemming from my anxiety. I can't miss anything, I need to see everything.

The nature of social media is also triggering in itself, everything is pitched as so important, so critical. We ourselves have even fallen into the trap. People mostly post to grab others attention. What better way than blowing a mundane or minuscule problem to epic proportions? On several occasions, I got so amped up by a post/update that I contacted the person offline, only to find that the actuality was much different that how it was portrayed online.

It's so strange how we portray ourselves so much differently online, in what my husband and I like to refer to as the "Competition for Best Human". Social media, Facebook, is not real life. It is a highlight reel. A reel full of false truths. And I'm sick of it. I'm sick of my generations delusion that this is real life. You can never win when it is all a lie. What do you do when you can't win? My solution? Take yourself out of the competition. Delete Facebook.

So for now, I guess I'll wait to see who my true friends outside the virtual world are. The irony is, I'm posting this on Blogger which is own by Google. Ah, well. You can only win so many battles.

xoxo.
K